Image by Julian Hacker 

In This Article

1. Why Society Fears Aging – The cultural obsession with youth and productivity.
2. Breaking Free from Old Identities – Letting go of external validation and ego-driven success.
3. The Four Stages of Life – A new perspective on life’s natural transitions.
4. Finding Purpose in Later Years – How conscious aging leads to wisdom and fulfillment.
5. The Ultimate Freedom of Letting Go – Discovering peace and joy in simply being.
   
   

A New Vision for Growing Older in a Society That Fears Aging

by Carol Orsborn.

Dear Old Soul, how far you’ve come from the days you needed fancy titles, prestige, and accomplishments to prove to the world that you are a somebody! Take a moment to recall earlier in life just how long you had to struggle to build an identity you hoped would provide you safe passage. Inventory all your attempts to secure status for yourself through the decades leading up to the recent past.

Keep in mind we’re talking less about what you set as your goal—be it having a bestseller, moving to the best neighborhood or whatever you deemed essential to becoming somebody—but your motivation. It’s one thing to do something because you find it fulfilling. It’s another thing to go against the grain of what your heart is telling you because you’re still in the earlier stages of midlife still seeking others’ approval in an attempt to ratify your identity even if by now, you should have passed the threshold to a new stage of life: growing old.

A Society That Fears Aging

For a society that fears aging, the go-to drug is denial. Don’t want to grow old? The prevailing advice is just don’t do it. Stay in midlife as long as you can, holding onto your position and power at work and in your family just long enough to reinvent yourself into something perhaps different but just as busy and productive. This you will feel compelled to do, even if your heart is whispering to you that there must be something more.

When you were young, you needed great blasts of energy because you had so many miles to go. You don’t need as much now: just as much as necessary. Of course, how much is deemed necessary will vary from person to person and situation to situation. The grandparents who are called upon to step in to raise their children’s offspring and retirees who need to find ways to supplement their income to survive are not in a position to cut back as much as they might like.

But even those who otherwise would have a choice about the intensity and pace of their lives feel societal pressure to continue to perform in high-gear, stoking the fires of ambition, competitive spirit and ego drive to stay relevant, as if they were years or even decades younger. But continuing to play a starring role in mainstream society is not a given. And in some cultures, it is not a sign of successful aging, but rather of failing to fulfill one’s potential as a human being.

The Four Stages of Life

In the Hindu concept, ancient texts break the life cycle into four developmental stages. The first two stages comprise that of the Student and that of the Householder, active roles centering on ambition and productivity. In contemporary western culture, we too, are expected to excel at school, develop our talents and interests, build a career and family. But here’s where western mainstream society parts ways from the Hindu conception.

The western models consider these years of high productivity to be the peak of human development. What comes next, if addressed at all, is at best a slow, sad decline. Where we dread the years beyond midlife as an imposed exile leading to marginalization, the ancient Hindu texts prescribe two further life stages as a highly valued progression.

The third stage is that of the Forest Dweller. In this vision of the life cycle, one’s primary role as householder and careerist gradually comes to an end. Unlike today’s helicopter parents and grandparents whose lives continue to center on the family, the ancient texts considered it to be both natural and important for adult children to establish their own independent lives and to take over the active role of builders and maintainers of society as their parents withdraw.

Out of choice, drawn forward by the promise of fulfillment, the aging husband and wife take up a simple life in the forest. In on-going spiritual retreat, surrounded by nature, contact with one’s previous life is minimal. Rather than going into town, the elders are on occasion sought out by their family members and the community at large, sharing wisdom with those who visit.

But even this is not the culmination of the life cycle, for the texts describe a fourth, final stage: the Renunciate. In this stage, withdrawal is complete as your sole purpose becomes total devotion to God. It is in this sacred space, when you have allowed time to do its work, that you realize at last how fulfilled one can be simply taking one precious breath after another.

The Cost of Your Authenticity

In the earlier stages of your development, you did, indeed, become somebody—at least for awhile. But the Hindu model doesn’t resist, but rather embraces, the reality all of us eventually come to face. As we transit through midlife and beyond, it isn’t long before no matter how much effort you bring to the table, your identities begin slipping away.

“Formerly,” “Emeritus,” “Retired” find their ways onto your resumé. Your grandchild who imbued your life with meaning by going to Harvard, drops out to surf. Your book goes out of print. And even if you could continue riding your ego bareback through life, sustaining being a somebody at the cost of your own authenticity eventually grows tired.

The Fear of Being a Nobody

Aging, itself, points the way forward. Whether in the east or west, you can eventually arrive to the Land of Old Souls where having left so much of your old identity behind, you discover that there is something much better than being a somebody. It’s called freedom, and comes only to those of us who are aging consciously. Released from the yoke of how others define you, you can be at once anything, everything, and nothing.

Now that you realize you don’t need to do or be anything in particular to be beloved and how little it really takes for you to feel safe and content, the fear of being a nobody no longer drives you. For those of us brave enough to explore these new life stages, the slightest breeze can be more welcomed and appreciated in older age than the great blasts of energy we previously enjoyed. But this comes about only once you avail yourself to drifting through the sweet joy of the moment, no longer worrying about where you must get to.

When you experience age as culmination, there is no place to go because, as the ancient texts prescribe, you are already here.

Copyright 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Adapted with permission of the publisher
Park Street Press, an imprint of Inner Traditions Intl.

Article Source: Spiritual Aging

Spiritual Aging: Weekly Reflections for Embracing Life
by Carol Orsborn Ph.D.

Many of us navigating the years beyond midlife report high levels of self-acceptance, freedom, and joy, but there can also be bouts of second-guessing and regret as well as the occasional longing to be reminded that you’re not in this alone.

Designed to be read weekly in two-year cycles, the 120 timeless readings in this book focus on the issues and concerns that arise among those who view aging as a path to spiritual culmination. Carol Orsborn’s wise and compassionate insights are seasoned by quotes and stories by and about mystics, sages, and old souls from ancient through contemporary times who illuminate the path to living a full life while embracing old age. 

For more info and/or to order this book, click here.  Also available as a Kindle edition and an Audiobook. 

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Article Recap:

Today’s society often fears aging, but true fulfillment comes from embracing each stage of life with authenticity and wisdom. Inspired by ancient traditions, this article explores how letting go of outdated identities and expectations allows us to experience aging as a journey toward peace, purpose, and profound freedom.

#AgingWithPurpose #ConsciousAging #LifeWisdom #PersonalGrowth #EmbracingChange #FulfillmentInLaterYears #Authenticity