Please subscribe to our YouTube channel using this link.
In This Article
- Why everyone has trust issues (and where they start)
- How life reinforces our beliefs—whether mistrust or faith
- Recognizing betrayal as a stepping stone, not a dead end
- Practical affirmations to rebuild your trust in life and yourself
- The key to creating a fulfilling, trusting life experience
Trust Issues? Why You Need to Trust Life Anyway
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com
Trust the wait.
Embrace the uncertainty.
Enjoy the beauty of becoming.
– Author Unknown
I don’t believe there is anyone on this planet that doesn’t have trust issues. After all, we’ve all been hurt by someone at some point, and it even started at childbirth which was a hurtful process. We came into this world in a jarring way—leaving the comfort of the womb and entering a bright, cold, unfamiliar world. We might even have been held upside down and slapped on the butt to get us to take our first breath. What a way to start this journey of life.
So, we began our life in a world where, not only were we pushed out of the warm nurturing nest we’d been in for 9 months, but it was a painful transition to get here, and then, we were mistreated right on arrival. That surely laid the seeds of mistrust of others right then and there.
And then as life progressed, other things happened that gave us even more cause to mistrust… Maybe one of your parents abandoned you, or mistreated you. Maybe your best friend betrayed you. Maybe your lover or husband (or wife) cheated on you. And I’m sure you can come up with other scenarios where your trust was betrayed.
The Consequence?
What that created was a basic mistrust right at the core of our being. We thus may find it hard to trust not only others, but life itself. We might even say, when things are going well, that it’s “too good to be true”. Now that's definitely a lack of trust. And I’m not saying we are to blame for this. We are basing our judgment and attitude on our past, on what happened to us, and even on stories that others told us about their lives, or even our ancestors’ lives.
There’s plenty of “war stories” out there to make us mistrust life itself, and the people in it.
Yet, because our beliefs and our attitudes draw experiences to us (usually so we can get in touch with them and heal them), the more we mistrust others and life itself, the more the Universe will assist us by providing another lesson. And, because of our perspective, many of us interpret these challenges as proof that life (and the people in it) are not to be trusted.
It’s a vicious circle. We don’t trust, so the Universe sends us more opportunities to learn trust. It’s like an exam that you need to pass before you can progress to the next level. Every time you fail the test it ingrains your belief that you’re a failure and can’t pass the test. In the same way, as we continue to fail the “Trust Test”, then we get to repeat the test over and over again in Groundhog Day fashion.
So What Now?
The way out of the rut is to get out of the rut. Sounds simple and rather self-explanatory, right? Yet, in the case of fears -- and yes doubt and mistrust are fears of the future -- we may be in a rut that is so deep that we don’t even see the possibility of a way out. But the way out is through it, through the doubt, through the fear, through the lack of trust.
We first must realize that the people that have come in our life to teach us trust may do so by providing us with situations where we get to choose to trust them (aka the Universe) or we don’t. The choice is always ours. So your best friend betrayed you… or your husband cheated on you… or someone made a promise that they broke. When we lose trust, it’s easy to feel like the betrayal is catastrophic—but often, it’s just a necessary chapter in our life story.
However… when we see through the eyes of trust, or perceive with our heart, we not only trust but we know that all will be alright. The glitch in your life is part of your path, part of your growth, part of making you become more of who you truly are. And who you truly are is a person who has a dream of a better life. And, furthermore, not only a vision but the trust and faith that it will happen… though maybe not in the way that you envisioned.
Perhaps the partner who cheated on you was here to teach you discernment, and your life’s journey will continue and you will meet and join with someone else who is more in harmony with your vision for yourself and for the future. Perhaps the friend who betrayed you was simply there to help you learn to trust yourself and trust the process of life by rocking your boat so that you end up discovering that you’re on solid ground no matter what it looks like or feels like.
The Challenges of Life
So many times in my life I have had experiences that at the time seemed like “the end of the world” or at least the end of mine. And yes those events were the end of something in my life, and at the time I thought it was horrible. Yet, what I realized later is that the “horrible event” was a blessing in disguise. Actually it wasn’t really in disguise, it’s just that I couldn’t see the blessing because I interpreted it as a calamity.
When I was living in Jamaica, I went for the 4th time to renew my 6-month visitor’s visa, but this time I was declined. I was told that I could no longer stay in Jamaica and had 24 hours to leave. Wow! I thought my life was ending, and of course, my life as I knew it at that time was ending.
Yet, after I had been gone for 3 weeks, I realized that it was a blessing “in disguise”. If I had remained in the Caribbean, InnerSelf Magazine would not have been born, as it was created about two years later when I was living in Miami. So horrible event, or blessing? Only time can tell. And my take on life is that it’s always a blessing but sometimes we need distance from it, either in time or miles, to see the benefit of the change.
How Do We Learn to Trust?
I wish I had the answer for how you can learn to trust. I am fortunate to have an innate sense of trust. I trust the Universe (aka God, etc.). I just know, deep in my being, that things always work out. When I was younger, I may not have been conscious of that inner faith. Yet, I somehow had the trust to just do what I needed to do, what felt right for me, and just trusted that it would work out. Some people said I was brave, but I just saw it as following my path, following my dream.
We are all different, and we all have had different experiences in life, and thus trust comes harder for some as they have had more challenging experiences to tempt them into believing that they shouldn’t trust others. But, keep in mind that, since we are all each other’s mirrors, you too have the trust that I have… You may just have to dig deeper for it.
And also, the trust that you withhold from Life and from others, may be a reflection of the trust you don’t have in yourself. And this is not saying something is lacking in you… it’s simply that your life experiences have weighed the scales on the side of doubt and fear and mistrust. And in that situation, in order to tip the scales in the direction of trust, you need to practice it… I use the following affirmations or mantras or thoughts to hold in my mind and heart:
* I trust the process of life.
* I am safe. I am protected. I am well-taken care of.
And even if, as you repeat the above statements to yourself, your mind jumps in to say that it’s not true, you are not safe, don’t mind it. It thinks it’s protecting you by keeping you afraid of trusting others. Just keep your intention on trusting the process of life, and affirming you are safe.
Just lost your job, or your home, or your relationship? Trust that the Universe has something better waiting out there for you. And the more you trust, the more it will open the doors to you for a better reality.
If you go around bemoaning, poor me, things always go wrong for me, I can’t trust others, then the Universe will oblige and give you more of what you have chosen to believe. Yet, if you choose to put weight on the scale on the side of trusting that all will work out, then the Universe will support you in creating that reality for yourself.
Creating a Fulfilling Life
Trust is like the yeast in the bread of life. Without yeast, the bread will remain flat and hard and unpalatable. Yet when you add "yeast" to your life in the form of trust, things start rising, your life will be lighter, and not only more palatable but more delicious. Trust Life. Trust Yourself. And since everyone around you is a reflection of you (whether you want to admit it or whether you see it or not), your self-trust, and your trust in the Universe, will be reflected in the world around you. People will be trustworthy, and even when things don’t go the way you wanted, or the way you think they should have gone, you will trust that it will all work out for the best… sometimes in ways that you could not have imagined.
The missing ingredients in creating a magical world for yourself is to:
1) trust that it is possible and
2) trust that it is working out, whether you see it or not.
First you must believe (trust) and then you will see the results. Just like planting a garden. You put in these tiny seeds into the ground and you trust that, with proper care, they will grow into plants that will deliver blessings to you. And the same goes with everything in our life. Even in the midst of what seems to be catastrophe, trust that this too shall somehow turn out to be a blessing.
About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com
Related Book:
The Shaman's Mind
The Shaman’s Mind – Huna Wisdom to Change Your Life
by Jonathan Hammond
To learn to think like a shaman is to attune yourself to a magical spectrum of infinite possibilities, unseen truths, alternative realities, and spiritual support. When a shaman likes what’s happening, they know how to make it better, and when they don’t, they know how to change it. The Shaman’s Mind is a book that teaches the reader how to align and transform their own mind into one that sees the world through the lens of the indigenous healers of old. Based on the Omega workshop by the same name.
For more info, or to order this book, click here. (Also available as a Kindle edition, an Audiobook and an Audio CD.)
Article Recap
Trusting life can feel impossible after betrayal, yet it’s the only path forward. By understanding that life’s challenges often come with hidden blessings, we can shift our mindset. When we choose to trust the process—even when it’s hard—we create space for healing, transformation, and deeper joy.
#TrustTheProcess #EmotionalHealing #PersonalGrowth #TrustIssues #LetGoAndTrust #SelfHelp #InnerPeace #SpiritualGrowth #TrustYourself #LifeLessons
